Make a coffee chat useful for both people
Prepare questions about the role and follow up on what you learn.
Know what you are trying to learn
Before contacting someone, write the decision their experience could inform. You might be comparing an office, understanding a specialist role or learning how a career switch worked. Read the basic public information first. A question about a person's experience gives them something concrete to discuss; asking them to explain the entire firm usually does not.
Give a truthful reason for reaching out
Mention a real connection, event, piece of work or aspect of their background. Keep the request easy to understand and easy to decline. Do not imply an introduction or shared experience that did not happen. The draft builder helps organise your own notes; review the result in your voice before using it.
Prepare questions that invite examples
Ask how work is staffed, what surprised them after joining or what a junior colleague actually owns on a project. Distinguish their individual experience from a firmwide rule. Avoid asking for confidential client details or exact interview questions. If time is short, prioritise the one question that would most change your decision.
Follow up after the conversation
Thank them for the specific insight you found useful. Follow through on anything you agreed to do, and record a concise note and next action in your tracker. A referral is a separate request; a conversation does not create an obligation to provide one. If there is no response, use judgement about a brief follow-up and then leave room for the person to decline.
A fictional example
Starting point
Can we connect? I want to learn everything about consulting and get a referral.
A more useful version
I attended your campus discussion about moving from engineering into consulting. I am considering a similar move and would value your perspective on which parts of your previous experience proved most useful. Would you be open to a short conversation?
The fictional example gives a real reason for contact and a focused topic. Use it only as a structure; replace every detail with something true.